


Insight

by GuineapigQueen



Category: South Park
Genre: Hospitalization, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mpreg, Recovery, Teenage Parents, Teenage Pregnancy, single mom laura tucker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:14:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23199979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GuineapigQueen/pseuds/GuineapigQueen
Summary: Craig listens to the incessant ticking of the clock on his wall. He can’t actually see it, it’s night and all the lights are off. But he can hear it, a constant reminder of the passing of time. He knows he should sleep, he really wishes he could but it’s just too hard. Knowing Tweek isn’t here but not knowing where Tweek is. He can’t help but worry even though he has so much more to worry about. His mom would tell him off, tell him he needs to rest but this thing with Tweek has him so messed up.
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak
Kudos: 35





	1. Fear of the Unknown

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This fic starts out angsty but slowly gets better and has a happy ending, unlike my last one I know. This is my peace offering for the last one. This one has a creek who are happier together and show far less toxic behaviours. I hope you like it, thanks for reading :)

Craig listens to the incessant ticking of the clock on his wall. He can’t actually see it, it’s night and all the lights are off. But he can hear it, a constant reminder of the passing of time. He knows he should sleep, he really wishes he could but it’s just too hard. Knowing Tweek isn’t here but not knowing where Tweek  _ is.  _ He can’t help but worry even though he has so much more to worry about. His mom would tell him off, tell him he needs to rest but this thing with Tweek has him so messed up.

He knows he’s all but wrecked his life. He does well in school mostly, was probably on track to go to college. His mom busts her ass so that they have a roof over their heads and so that he can do well. Sure, he has an unstable boyfriend but that wasn’t life-ruining. His mom likes Tweek well enough and she’s mostly sympathetic to the shit he’s going through. But it hit the fan when he fell pregnant, not on purpose, never on purpose. He’s upset about it because he  _ is  _ a very careful person. Tweek isn’t but Craig usually makes up for that for the both of them. Craig thinks he messed up his math somewhere and didn’t realise, which he’s disappointed in himself for - he’s not the kind of person who gets math wrong often. But he did, he got it so wrong that it fucked up his entire life forever. 

And Craig can hear the voices of his stupid friends in his ear right now  _ if you’re so upset why didn’t you just get rid of it?  _ And that question bugs him to no end because that’s not how life works. That’s not how  _ Craig  _ works as a person, he’s a sentimental idiot who couldn’t do it. He’s still reeling at just how much his future has changed in the span of a few months but he loves his baby, and he loves his stupid, idiot boyfriend who just can’t get his shit together. 

He sighs and looks down at the small bump of his stomach. He rests a hand there and closes his eyes, trying to distract himself from the mess that is Tweek. Tweek loves them, he’ll call or something, eventually. 

Craig doesn’t really even blame Tweek, not fully anyway. He knew Tweek was fucked from the start, love makes you do stupid things. He knew Tweek was mentally ill, he’s not a doctor so he couldn’t say what exactly is going on but he knows Tweek’s kinda screwed in the head. He’s not always, but when he’s bad, he’s  _ bad.  _ When Tweek is depressed Craig is often his caretaker, he stays by Tweek’s side, holds him, coaxes him to eat or shower. But when Tweek does… whatever this is? Craig can’t really do shit besides wait. 

Tweek walks out because they fight, because Tweek is acting crazy. Tweek isn’t sleeping, or maybe he’s talking about stuff that isn’t there or just won’t  _ stop  _ for even a second. So of course they fight about it, Craig can’t not say something. The person he loves is going through some kinda breakdown, and he does it on a semi regular basis. His mom is just as lost as to what they can do - because they aren’t Tweek’s parents. He’s sort of unofficially been living with them but they’re not his legal guardians. They can’t force Tweek to do anything he doesn’t want to do. The only reason his mom hasn’t kicked Tweek out is because she knows he’s going home to nothing. You know things are bad when their shitty apartment looks appealing. 

His mom said that Tweek’s gonna have to either decide to get help himself or have to do something so crazy that they cops have to be called.  _ A danger to himself or to others.  _ Craig’s heard that phrase so many times but nobody can tell him just what it  _ means.  _ Because Craig thinks Tweek’s probably a danger to himself at least, but thus far he’s never actually qualified for time at a hospital involuntarily. Craig hates the system, and he hates Tweek’s parents even more for doing nothing. 

He knows this is a bad situation. Tweek isn’t mentally fit to be a father, especially not a dirt-poor teenage one with no support system. Craig has his mom at least, she’s always done her absolute best to keep his life safe and stable. He appreciates it even more now knowing he’s bringing his own life into the world and while technically he isn’t a single parent - in practice he is. He wouldn’t have gotten pregnant now by choice, but it’s happened and he’s in way too deep to take it back now. If things keep going the way they do Craig might just have to kick out Tweek and go it alone. He kinda hopes having a baby will make Tweek realise he needs help, but he’s not counting on it. 

He pulls his blanket around him tighter as he shivers in the cold. They haven't really got much in the way of heating, Craig hopes that won’t make the baby sick. Craig has been accumulating blankets for this purpose. Heidi, a friend at school, knits and she’s been donating all sorts of things to Craig. Blankets, baby and adult sized, baby beanies, gloves, sweaters - Craig doesn’t even want to think where he’d be without her generosity. Maybe they haven’t got a heater but at least he’ll be able to wrap the baby up in layers. He can’t say the same for himself though - most of his clothes don’t fit anymore. He desperately needs a new winter coat. At least the warmth of his body temperature keeps the baby warm for now, that’s the priority. 

He rubs over the curve of his stomach, he can't believe how big it's gotten and how much it's changed. Logically he knows that of course his body would change but it's harder to grapple with now that it's happening to him. It still feels like the other day he was staring at that plus sign on the home pregnancy test. Now he's got a cute little bump (on good days he likes it) and he can feel little flutters in his tummy. It's kinda nice to know he's not alone, especially in times like right now when Tweek is awol. At least he has his little one to love. 

His affection is rewarded with some small flutters, apparently his baby can't sleep either. Well he likes to think so anyway, he doesn't know if the baby can actually react to him yet. He talks to his stomach anyway so that when the baby does start to hear him they'll know. Maybe it will help them to know he is here.

He's mostly just focusing on the movement and the comforting way it feels. It's kind of weird of course, knowing there's a little person wriggling around in there but it's worth it. Knowing his baby is there is worth it and more comforting than a hug from his mom. 

His bonding time is interrupted by the sound of his phone vibrating. Before all this he'd have ignored it, but it could be Tweek. So he resigns himself to a sleepless night and answers it. He's correct - it is Tweek. 

_ “Craig?” _

“Yeah babe, it's me.”

_ “I'm scared… it's -nghh- happening again.” _

“I know Tweek, where are you?”

_ “I don't know man, I think -gah- someone is following me.” _

“Send me a snapchat, I'll come get you.”

_ “Okay, promise you're -nnn- coming?” _

“Yes, I'll call you straight back once I've got your snap okay?”

_ “Okay.” _

“I love you.”

_ “Love you too.” _

Craig sighs as he hangs up the phone. His mom isn't gonna be happy with him going out so late on his own but what can he do? He can't leave Tweek and he definitely doesn't want to wake her up and make her tired for work. 

His phone vibrates again with Tweeks snap. The picture itself reveals nothing but Craig can pinpoint his location on the maps feature. Craig's not sure if Tweek realises his location is open like this, but Craig isn't gonna tell him. It's been invaluable when he's called, late at night too disoriented to know where he is. The map tells him that Tweek is in a local park only a few blocks away. He must be really disoriented if he doesn't know where he is, Craig doesn't trust him to make it home alone. 

“I guess we're going on an adventure” he says to his belly, he pats it fondly before he forces himself to get up and find his coat.

—

Tweek falls into depression almost as soon as Craig gets him home. He spends most of the night trying to console Tweek, but most of what Tweek says is nonsensical. The only way Craig knows how to help is to hold him close and let him cry till he calms down. When he does calm down he becomes near catatonic. This isn't unusual for Tweek, it freaks Craig out whenever it happens but Craig knows it won't last forever. Craig just has to stay with him and make sure he eats, or showers or maybe even get him to go outside if he can. As long as Craig is  _ there  _ Tweek can't hurt himself, he hopes. 

While they've been through this before this is the first time Craig is trying to do this while pregnant. Or at least  _ this  _ pregnant. He definitely couldn't wrestle Tweek if Tweek tried to hurt himself. The idea terrifies him but so far Tweek hasn't done anything so serious that it's been required to physically intervene. Craig desperately hopes that it stays that way, because he knows that he's not as strong as he once was. The baby has to come first, Craig has to look after his body first and foremost to keep the baby safe. 

So far Tweek has been docile, miserable, but docile. If they have a conversation that isn't Tweek apologising tearily over and over again Craig considers it a win. The best he's got with food is he's been able to talk Tweek into taking a few bites of what he's eating. They both haven't been to school in ages. It's been too long, Craig doesn't know what the fuck they'll do. He knows he should go back and really put his head down and study. But he's thinking he might have to just drop out, that this is just gonna be his lot in life. Parenting his poor baby and caring for Tweek. Probably relying on his mom until he can get some kind of job to support them. When he's well Tweek promises to support them, that they'll be a family, that he loves them and he's going to provide. Craig adores Tweek, but he doesn't trust his words.

It's harder than Craig remembers it being last time and he thinks that's just because being pregnant is already so draining. He's already tired and is kinda struggling to find the motivation to do things for himself, let alone motivate Tweek. He's not well himself either, at least physically, he still has “morning sickness”. (it's whenever the fuck it feels like, the books all say it should have stopped by now but it hasn't. It just comes and goes whenever it feels like it.) Lately he's being bedbound almost as much as Tweek. His belly is making being the big spoon difficult - which when Tweek is well isn't an issue. Tweek only wants to be the little spoon when he's upset or unwell.

They don't talk much, or Craig does all talking. If Craig even has the energy himself. He knows all hope isn't lost when Tweek reaches to touch his stomach. Tweek is groggy but he sits up to kiss Craig's tummy before pulling him into a hug. 

“Don't deserve you” he mumbles against Craig's shirt. 

“You deserve the world” Craig whispers back.

“No” Tweek replies “I love  _ -nghh-  _ you though, both of you” he squeezes Craig tighter so that the curve Craig's stomach is pressed against Tweek's own. 

“I love you so much Tweek” Craig says “It's gonna get better, okay?” 

Tweek nods shakily “I've gotta  _ -ah-  _ get my shit together, for the baby.”

“Yeah” Craig agrees with a small smile “we're gonna have a family.” 

“Yeah, I'm gonna  _ -hnn-  _ work on myself or something… I'll look after you, man” Tweek says. 

“All I want is for you to feel better, my love” Craig replies, giving Tweek a chaste kiss. 

—

It's not all bad, Tweek has periods where he's okay. They're usually for a few weeks at a time, and in those few weeks the Tweek Craig fell in love with is here. This Tweek is loving, considerate and in Craig's opinion, baby daddy material. Craig knows to treasure all these moments as they won't last forever. 

They head back to school while Craig feels that they can. He tries to have dates, talk about the future and just enjoying Tweek's company. 

Every time he thinks he's getting close to getting Tweek to admit he needs help Tweek backtracks or laughs, and changes the subject. Craig isn't sure what he's going to do, he might have to wait until Tweek inevitably goes downhill again. Craig decides if things get too bad he’s just gonna call the cops, it’s all he can do. He definitely can’t try to restrain Tweek himself, especially as his pregnancy progresses. Honestly, as the weeks go by his belly is just getting bigger and harder to maneuver and while it’s okay now, if shit hit the fan Craig could be powerless. 

So Craig is nervous, even though Tweek is okay. Tweek is in good spirits as he accompanies Craig to a doctors appointment. Tweek has missed some of the scans, because he was too unwell one way or another. He’s been to most, but he’s missed out on enough that he feels guilty. Now, he’s excited because he hasn’t seen the baby as much as Craig has but he often gets upset at himself knowing that he missed a few milestones. It’s one of those days where Tweek can’t keep his hands off Craig, he cuddles him close and wants to kiss a lot in public. When Craig shrugs him off he takes to kissing Craig’s stomach instead and rubbing it fondly. Craig doesn’t mind that so much, it’s good to know Tweek loves his kid but fuck, Craig is tired and he’d like to lay as low as possible. People already stare at them because Craig is a pregnant teenager, he doesn’t want anymore attention drawn to Tweek’s eccentricities. 

Tweek can feel little kicks now, but the baby doesn’t always respond when Tweek talks. Craig thinks that might be because he’s been so in and out of their lives, but Tweek is talking to his tummy a lot this stint so maybe the baby will learn to recognise him better. Craig makes a point to tell him when the baby reacts, so that he doesn’t feel too guilty about the entire thing. 

Craig closes his eyes, just resting momentarily in the uncomfortable waiting room chair. Obviously nothing about it is comfortable, his back ache is made worse by the chair, the weight on his hips isn’t any fun and he’s feeling a little queasy. None of this is conducive to sleep, he’s just that tired that his sheer exhaustion trumps everything else. He’s not asleep, but he lets himself rest while Tweek is stroking his belly, trying to coax some kicks. 

“Craig Tucker?” Calls the doctor. Tweek stands up straight almost immediately but Craig groans and reaches for his partners support. He gets up slowly and carefully, still not used to the way the extra weight on his belly is throwing off his balance. Tweek wraps a supportive arm around Craig’s waist as the walk towards the exam room together. 

Craig’s mother Laura usually tries to accompany him, whether Tweek is present or not but work often keeps her away. Craig knows she wants to be here, but he also knows her responsibilities keep her working long hours. She had Craig young too and has been working hard ever since to keep his life stable. Craig can’t even be mad at her for not being able to come today. 

He doesn’t get the same doctor each time, which he knows is poor consistency and probably has a negative impact on his care but it’s the best option he’s got. He relies on the free clinic, because while his mom does her best she’s not rich - and medical bills pile up. So while Craig would love a regular OB this is what he’s stuck with. Like most of the unfortunate circumstances he’s found himself in currently he just does the best with what he has. This is just his lot. 

It’s never the same exam room either, but they’re all pretty much the same. All sterile, shades of white, grey and metal with the same table to hop up on and be examined. All Craig cares about is getting to see his baby and knowing their okay - the room he’s in doesn’t really matter.

A lot of the appointment will be kinda unpleasant, being examined internally is never fun and he’s not really a fan of getting his weight checked. He knows he’s put on but he’d prefer to remain in denial about  _ how  _ much. The ultrasound is the best bit - he just hopes this doctor isn’t judgemental. 

“Hi Craig” she says brightly, clearly young. Maybe just out of medical school and still full of hope. Places like this, dealing with poor downtrodden people will kill that real quick. “And hi there..?” She gestures to Tweek.

“I’m Tweek” he says politely “I’m the  _ -ah-  _ dad.”

“Nice to meet you both” she replies and Craig tries to return her smile.

“Hi” he says “sorry, I don’t feel very good today.”

“Well, that’s not good - is it pregnancy related?” she asks. Her concern is so genuine Craig almost feels sorry for her. He wishes he could mirror her enthusiasm. 

“Yeah, just the usual suspects” Craig grumbles. It’s nothing to worry about, he just wishes he was at home in bed instead of here. 

“Fair enough, do you wanna hop on the scale and we’ll get started?” She suggests. He does so, happy to end the conversation.

The appointment is pretty standard, Craig’s weight is apparently good, his belly is the correct size and apparently everything feels normal. He's glad for it, he worries that sometimes all the stress is hurting the baby. He tries as hard as he can to minimise the stress but in their situation it's just so difficult. 

Craig is just happy to see his baby, and glad that, according to the doctor, he's keeping them safe, healthy and they're developing normally despite the circumstances. 

The ultrasound gel is always cold, but Craig can handle cold. He can handle the pressure of the wand too, it's such minor discomfort for such a huge reward. Craig smiles when the screen flicks to life and their baby appears on the screen. Craig can see them wriggling, as he feels them move also. It's so weird being able to hear it and see it now. There was a bit of a disconnect before. 

“They're so big!” Tweek says in awe, jaw hanging open and eyes huge.

“My belly almost doubled in size, what did you expect?” Craig teases. It's less of a shock to him as he's ever present for everything this pregnancy throws at him. 

“They  _ -nghh- _ look more like a person now” Tweek replies, voice wobbling with emotion “look at those arms and legs… just kicking away.”

Craig looks over to see Tweek is crying, and Craig can tell it's good crying too. It's not depression crying, it's happy overwhelmed crying. Craig can feel himself tearing a little at Tweek's emotional display. 

“Craig we  _ made  _ them” Tweek babbles “we made that tiny  _ -hnn-  _ human.”

“I know babe” Craig says, squeezing Tweeks hand.

“Do you want to know the sex?” the doctor asks “assuming you don't already know?”

“We don't know,” Craig replies. Last appointment Tweek wasn't there and he was alone. He hadn't felt like finding out such a huge thing without Tweek. 

“I wanna know” Tweek says through his tears “if you do  _ -nnn-  _ too Craig?”

“Yeah” Craig answers with a small smile “yeah I'd like to find out.”

“Well, from where I'm sitting it looks like you've got a little boy” the doctor says with a kind smile “congratulations.”

Tweek begins to bawl at that, he buries his face in Craig's shoulder and sobs messily. 

Craig feels like he's had the wind knocked out of him, but in the best way possible. His little one is a boy, not that it matters, he thinks he'd have the same reaction over a girl - but he gets to know something more about them. It makes the baby more real, more concrete as a person. Craig is now that much more desperate to meet his son. 

“A boy” Tweek repeats wobbily “my  _ son.” _

Tweek kisses Craig's cheek and Craig wishes that this moment could last forever. 

He knows they won't be this happy forever. 

—

This time  _ it's bad.  _ Craig knew it was gonna get bad. But he couldn't have foreseen this, he hadn't predicted to Tweek to stay throughout the worst of it. Tweek usually gets mad and leaves, he often spends his craziest hours out on the street or at his parents. He usually calls when he's coming down and mostly just docile. 

He's definitely not docile. They've been fighting all day, Tweek's been off his head. Talking a mile a minute, randomly yelling at Craig and just losing his temper at nothing. Craig doesn't want to fight with Tweek but he's hormonal and at the end of his tether too. 

Today things have been escalating, mostly because Tweek has been yelling at things that aren't there. It's the afternoon and Craig didn't go to school, Tweek got aggressive when Craig tried to leave. Craig is seven months pregnant, he doesn't feel like he has the strength to argue. 

Craig doesn't know what to do, Tweek isn't calming down and Craig is feeling more and more unsafe as the day goes on. Craig does the only thing he can think of, when Tweek is distracted he slips out of the room. He goes slow, he can't go fast without making noise with the bump. So he just goes slowly, until he reaches his bedroom and pulls the door shut. He locks it behind him, knowing there's at least a barrier between him and Tweek. He texts his mother and warns her. She replies that he should call the police, but that feels too much like a betrayal. So instead he listens as Tweek moves around the house, sometimes calling for him and sometimes yelling at something that definitely isn't there. Sometimes he bangs loudly on the doors and makes Craig jump. He tries to keep his breathing calm and steady, for the baby. 

It's only when Tweek begins banging on Craig's bedroom door that Craig really begins to lose it. He's screaming and banging and Craig is terrified the lock will give out.

Tweek is yelling something about demons taking his baby and Craig thinks he might mean him. It's at this moment he realises that it's Tweek or the baby and he dials 911. 

Craig is lucky, and the police get there before Tweek breaks Craig's door. But he doesn't want to go. Craig doesn't think he'd want to go either if it were him but he feels backed into a corner. He doesn't let anyone on the other side of the door until he knows Tweek is restrained. He only opens it when he hears his mother's voice, promising him that it's safe. His hands shake and he can't stop crying. This is the worst decision he's ever had to make. 

"He's in the hospital, baby" his mother says, "its where he needs to be."

Craig knows this. He knows that Tweek will get the help he needs for now at least, but he's been committed involuntarily. He could choose not to take the doctor's advice once released. Craig can't have him like that near his baby ever again.

He sleeps in his mom's bed that night. Like when he was small, she lets him cry all night and wraps him up tight. It's nice not having to be the grown up. For once. 

—

Craig hates the hospital. He knows its stupid, it's where he's going to have his baby. It's where Tweek is getting the treatment he so desperately needs. Craig knows all these things but he still feels anxious as he finds his way round the pristine halls. 

Tweek is in a psych ward. On one hand Craig is glad, because it means he was correct in his assumptions. But also, it's terrifying, because it's real now. Whatever they diagnose Tweek with - it'll be forever. He's also a little worried that his baby may inherit whatever Tweek has. He knows it's a bit preemptive and paranoid but this is his child. He doesn't want his child to be ill in any way. 

Craig and his mom don't know too many details about Tweek's treatment. They aren't his guardians, so only Tweek's parents get that kind of information. Craig doesn't even know if they've explained to Tweek what's going on with him. Maybe he's not even lucid enough. Craig just doesn't know. 

"You don't have to if you don't want to," Craig's mother says, rubbing his back comfortingly, "you're really pregnant. If you need to rest everyone understands."

"No" Craig says and shakes his head "I've gotta see him."

"Okay" Laura replies "you let me know if it gets too much okay? We don't have to stay a minute longer than you want to."

Craig nods as they enter the ward. At first it's just a reception desk, the actual patients are behind locked doors. Even though Craig wants Tweek to get help, he hates that he has to be locked up to do it. 

"Hi, can I help you?" Says a tired looking nurse from behind the desk. 

"Uh, can we see Tweek?" Craig asks, he notices her eyeing his stomach. He wraps an arm around it protectively. 

"What's your relationship to the patient?" she asks.

"I'm his partner," Craig replies. Partner seems too grown up but at the same time, boyfriend feels so juvenile. 

"I'm Craig's mother" his mother says kindly "are his visitors restricted?"

"No, I just have to check" she replies "Tweek mentioned a Craig actually. Is that you?"

"That's me, can I see him?" Craig asks, hopeful that Tweek seems to know who is at least. 

"Yes, but first I need you to sign the visitors book and then grab some hand sanitizer so you're clean when you go in. Are you both going in?" She asks them. Craig looks up at his mom and nods. 

"Yes, is… is it safe?" He bites his lip, he wants to see Tweek desperately but he also needs to know that the baby will be safe. 

"Yes it's fine, he's very sedated and very disoriented but he's not aggressive anymore" the nurse explains as Craig signs his name in wobbly handwriting in the visitors book. He hands the pen to his mother as he heads over to grab some hand sanitizer. 

"Good. Can we see him please?" Craig asks, rubbing his hands together. He hopes they are clean to the wards standards. 

"Let me come round and unlock the doors for you" she says "is Tweek the father of your baby?"

"Yes. I just want him to be better when the baby comes" Craig admits. The nurse nods as she unlocks the doors with a code. They open and she leads them through. They lock again automatically once they've passed the threshold.

"That must be very scary. We will do our best here, but a good portion of his recovery will be up to him" the nurse says kindly. Craig had originally thought she'd been judging him, but now he doesn't think that's the case. 

"I know. I've missed him" he says. She leads them into a small room lined with chairs.

"He'll be thrilled to see you, wait here I'll go find him for you" she says with a smile, before leaving Craig and his mother alone in the waiting room, of sorts. He rubs a hand over his belly in an effort to calm his nerves. Knowing the baby is there is always helpful. 

"What if he hates me?" Craig whispers to Laura "I'm the reason he's here."

"No baby" she says, pulling him closer "his illness is why he's here. If he's mad now he won't be when he's better - just stay strong."

"I'll try," Craig replies. 

"Here we are!" Says the nurse brightly. Tweek is trailing behind her, his feet dragging along the linoleum and his eyes on the floor. His movements are slow, his hair is unbrushed and bedraggled. He looks tired, more tired than Craig has ever seen him. 

"Here's your visitors, Tweek" she says. Tweek finally looks up to meet Craig's eyes. Craig sees no anger, no joy either… just nothing. Tweek looks right through him for a horrible, heart wrenching second.

"Hi Tweek" Craig says cautiously "I missed you."

"Yeah" Tweek replies, sounding spacey "can I sit down?"

"Of course" Laura says, she kindly helps Craig into a seat. Tweek shuffles down next to Craig. Craig is pleasantly surprised when Tweek takes Craig's hand.

"Sorry. My head's  _ -nghh-  _ not right" Tweek says, very slowly and carefully "is the baby okay? Are you doing okay?"

"We're both fine" Craig replies, it's a bit of a lie but Craig supposes they're getting by. "You can feel, if you want."

Tweek very slowly brings his hand to Craig's stomach. He rubs slow circles, staring at the curve and the way his own hand moves over it.

"I'm sorry" he says suddenly, his voice cracking with emotion "I'm sorry I'm in here."

"No, babe don't be sorry! This is the best place for you to get better. That's all we want" Craig tries his best to assure.

"Absolutely" Laura agrees. 

"I put you and the  _ -nnn-  _ baby in danger… I'm supposed to protect you… I don't know why I did that" Tweek says, his sentences disjointed and a fleck of distress appearing in his eyes. Craig reaches over and pulls Tweek in close. 

"Cause you're sick Tweek, it's okay. Just make sure you do what your doctors say now" Craig says, rubbing Tweek's arm comfortingly "I love you and I want to see you better."

"I scared myself. I'm scared" Tweek says, he buries his face in Craig's shoulder and squeezes Craig hard. 

"I know babe, but you can do it. The doctors are gonna help you so it doesn't happen again" Craig tries his best to encourage. He knows Tweek can do this, he just has to want to. 

Tweek nods tearily "I'll try" he says. 

"That's all we want from you sweetheart" Laura assures Tweek "we love you a lot."

—

Craig wriggles a little in discomfort. There's nothing comfortable about the cheap public bus seats, but it's amplified when you're seven months pregnant. There's a deep, painful ache in both his lower back and pelvis from the weight of his son sitting on them. He's already feeling kind of rough, all just general pregnancy things but having Tweek in the hospital has made it so much worse. Craig isn't sleeping as well as he should be, he's so stressed and keeping himself up with worry. 

There's so many what ifs. Will Tweek comply with whatever treatment plan he's given? When will he be allowed home? Will he be able to function on whatever medicine he's prescribed? Will he be a zombie forever? Craig doesn't know and he hates it. He doesn't like having all these extra what ifs along with having a baby. 

What if he has to go through labour alone?

He's on his own today. He hasn't got a choice about it, he's due for another scan and with Tweek in the hospital and his mom at work he's got nobody else to accompany him. 

If it weren't about the baby he'd just stay home, but the baby has to come first. So he forces himself to go it alone, despite being tired, shaky and very emotionally fragile. He focuses on the movement in his stomach, his son is kicking and it's probably the only thing helping him keep it together right now. 

There's an old lady opposite Craig who is blatantly glaring at him. He can feel the eyes of the other passengers on him too. He just wants them to leave him alone, they don't know his life or what's happening at home. They don't know how he ended up here. 

People glare, stare and judge almost everywhere he goes but at least he usually has Tweek, or his mom as a buffer. It helps him feel more confident having that hand to hold. But there's no hand here now, only the pressure of his son kicking away in his belly. It'll have to do. 

He struggles to get up out of his seat when the bus arrives at his stop. Nobody offers to help, they just stare, giggle and continue to glare at him. He doesn't understand why he deserves this kind of scorn, he's doing his absolute best for his baby. 

He blinks back tears as he clambers off the bus awkwardly. Getting around on his own with the bump is just so difficult now. He stops for a minute to catch his breath and wipe away his tears before he heads into the clinic. 

At least he's getting a scan today. 

People aren't any less judgy in the clinic. The staff are all very professional but other patients often stare and click their tongues at Craig. He ignores it all as best he can. He reminds himself that his son is growing healthy and developing normally. He's doing a good job despite what everyone seems to think. 

When he is finally called he once again can't get up. He struggles, but luckily his doctor seems to have more sympathy than the people around them. She walks over and helps him up. 

"Thanks," Craig says, trying as hard as he can not to cry.

"It's okay sweetheart" she says, he's not had her before. He very rarely gets the same doctor twice. "Come on through" she smiles.

She's nice enough to keep up with Craig's slow, waddling pace as they head down the hall to the exam room.

"How've you been since your last appointment?" She asks. Craig wants to sob right then and there, he doesn't though. He holds it back. 

"I've been stressed," he admits, wanting to be honest about anything pertaining to his son. 

"About the baby?" She asks, gesturing for him to sit down. 

"No… my life… there's a lot going on" Craig bites his lip, not sure what he should say. 

"Are you alright sweetheart, have you got someone supporting you?" She says, eyebrows furrowing in concern. 

Craig loses it at that.

"My boyfriend he's… he's in the hospital. He's… I don't know what's wrong yet but it's mental illness. I had to call the police and they locked him up. And my mom has work and I'm all alone. I don't know if I'll be alone when I have the baby and  _ I'm scared…"  _ he manages to blurt out through heavy sobs. He doesn't mean to cry but he's just had enough. He's so tired and uncomfortable and  _ alone.  _ It's awful. 

"I'm really sorry to hear that, that's the last thing you need expecting a baby. Is your boyfriend responding to treatment?" She asks kindly. She’s the nicest anybody has been to him today. 

"I don't really know. His parents don't like us so they don't tell us anything and well, he's not really that aware himself" Craig tries to explain through emotion, he buries his head in his hands and hides his face away from her. 

“Well recovery from a mental illness can be long and slow, but having a baby can be a real motivator for some people. I’ve seen people in terrible situations turn their whole life around” she says. Slowly and cautiously, like she doesn’t want to be  _ too  _ optimistic in case it makes Craig feel worse. 

“Do you think so?” CraIg asks, letting his face reappear and making eye contact. 

“I can’t promise you anything, but we can hope so” she says with a small smile. 

“I believe in him, he’s really strong and capable he just needs to learn how to manage it” Craig replies, feeling more confident as he speaks and nodding firmly.

“Well, it sounds like he has a great support system in you, and that’s a huge part of it. But who is your support system?” She asks him, placing emphasis on  _ your.  _ Because it’s kind of true, nobody has really been thinking much about him, despite him being a few months from giving birth. 

“My mom, and Tweek when he’s well… when things are good they’re really awesome” Craig sighs. They can both be great, when things work out. But right now? Not so much. 

“Maybe you need to lean on your mom a little more in this time, I’m sure she’ll understand” she suggests. Craig bites his lip, he hates asking for help. Mainly because he knows how hard she works but also because he wants to prove to her, to everyone, that he’s grown up enough to have this baby. But he concedes, he’s not grown up enough for this.

“She does. I’m sorry for having a breakdown in your office… this isn't what I came here for” he says, laughing at himself a little as he wipes his tears.

“You aren’t the first and you won’t be the last, don’t worry. Do you feel a bit better now you’ve talked about it?” She asks with a small smile. Craig nods.

“Yeah, a little…” he rubs his stomach, remembering why they are here “we should probably check on the baby now though.”

“Good idea, can you hop on the scales for me?” She asks.

“I’m gonna need help, sorry” he says and she kindly holds out a hand to help him up. He’s grateful that someone is nice enough to help him, even if it’s a stranger.

“Don’t apologise, you’re doing fine” she smiles “let’s see this baby.”

Craig is exhausted when he gets home. It’s been an ordeal having a slight breakdown in the doctor's office and trying to find his way back home on the bus. People were just as rude and judgemental on the way back, and again, nobody offered to help him. He had to stand up half of the journey home because nobody would offer him a seat - he’s so sore. When he finally gets in he just flops on the couch, breaking down into quiet sobs. Why are people so  _ awful?  _

He doesn’t even really notice his mom coming in until she turns the lights off. She quietly heads to the kitchen, placing her stuff on the counter before she makes her way back to him. She eases herself down next to him on the couch, he feels the cushion dip a little with her weight and the warmth of her arm around him.

“What’s the matter? Is everything okay?” She asks him quietly.

“No. And yes. The baby is fine but I’m not” Craig replies, voice wobbly. He’s trying to hold it together, trying. 

“You’re not… how?” She asks, rubbing his back soothingly. 

“I can’t do this mom! Tweek is locked up and I’m alone and nobody will even give me a seat on the bus let alone a tiny bit of sympathy. I’m tired and I need Tweek and he’s not here!” He says, the dam breaking for like, the hundredth time today. It’s just been a shit day all round. 

“I’m sorry Craig, I really am but that’s life. Life is tough and sometimes you have to do things alone. You’re strong and I know you can do it. I’ll make sure you aren’t totally alone, but like I did with you, sometimes you just have to be strong for your baby” she says with a serious tone. 

“But I should get to be weak too sometimes… and that’s what I’m doing now. I’m being weak” he whines. 

“You can have a moment” she agrees with a small smile. 

She lets him snuggle in, as much as his stomach allows any way. Like he’s a kid again and not stuck in this nightmare pretending to be a grown up. 

“I didn’t mean to get pregnant” he says quietly “I wasn’t planning this.”

“I know” she replies, still rubbing his back “I will help you Craig, but there’s logistically some things I can’t do. Like I couldn’t come with you to your appointment today.” 

“I know, I just want Tweek back” he says forlornly.

“Well, I don’t want to upset you more but let’s prepare to do this thing by ourselves and if Tweek comes back it’s a bonus,” she suggests. Craig knows what she means, he has to be realistic. This baby is here now, and there’s no taking it back, he has no real choice but to be strong for them. 

“Okay, I guess I have to,” he says, steeling himself and nodding. 

“Sometimes you just have to, yeah” she encourages, pulling him in closer for a hug. 

—


	2. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig can't go in to visit Tweek every day. He'd like to, but sometimes he can't manage it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the ending, I hope you like it :)  
> Hopefully you'll see more from me again soon I have a few projects in the works

Craig can't go in to visit Tweek every day. He'd like to, but sometimes he can't manage it. Tweek's parents also don't want them visiting, so they need to avoid them too. The only reason they are so hostile to Craig and his mother is because they loosen the grip of his parents control. They're awful for Tweek, they want him unwell, unhappy and controlled. Craig and Laura have offered him a lifeline, an alternative place to sort his shit out. Tweek's parents hate them for it. Their main claim is that they (Craig and Laura) are turning Tweek against them. Craig thinks they're both probably about as mentally stable as Tweek is, just better at maintaining the facade. 

After his mandatory 72 hour hold Tweek agreed to be a voluntary patient. Craig is extremely proud of him for making that choice, it seems like finally Tweek wants to try and get better. It's been ten days or so and Tweek is doing better, comparatively. He's still not himself, he's mostly spaced out and sedated from the meds he's been given. Craig knows that he had a review recently, he might be released, they might have asked to extend his stay, Tweek could have agreed or Tweek could have decided to discharge himself. Craig hasn't heard from Tweek so he's assuming that he hasn't discharged himself against doctors orders. 

Craig manages to schedule a visit that his mom can come along to as well. He's glad, while he can go by himself he feels much better having his mom for back up. 

"Not long now" a nurse at the front desk says as Craig waddles in.

"I'm ready to feel normal again" Craig replies, not really wanting to go into his fears and complex situation. 

"Your new normal will be very different once the baby is here" his mom points out. Craig knows, he knows this but he can't think about that right now. Things are changing faster than he can comprehend. 

"It might be different" the nurse says "but different can be good." 

Craig has to agree, he can't see the arrival of his child changing his world for the worse. He just hopes things can improve with Tweek, and they can actually be a family together. 

The nurse lets them in through the now familiar locked doors and they wait for Tweek in the lounge area. 

"I need to sit" Craig says to his mom, she nods and ushers him back towards a seat.

"I remember this stage" she says sympathetically "you just want him out."

"I do," Craig agrees. "I want to be able to get up out of chairs by myself, and to walk normally and to not feel like I'm carrying a bowling ball in my belly all the time." 

"The bowling ball will be in your arms and have a mouth for screaming" Laura jokes, Craig rolls his eyes but laughs too. 

"They're  _ my  _ bowling ball, so it's okay," Craig says happily.

"Have you thought of any names for him?" Laura asks "I don't remember you mentioning any."

"No" Craig replies, his mood plummets instantly.

He and Tweek haven't had the chance, he wasn't having that conversation while Tweek is unwell, things escalated and now they're here. Choosing their child's name is not something Craig feels he can do on his own. It scares him knowing that he may have to, and how any of this is going to work. 

"Sorry honey, I didn't mean to upset you" Laura says, placing an arm around him "you've still got time to choose something together."

"I hope so, I don't want to do that without him, '' Craig replies sadly.

"Whatever happens, you'll do wonderful," she encourages. 

Thankfully the sour mood is interrupted by Tweek entering the rec room. Craig would be lying if he said Tweek looks well but he does look a little better than last time. He's still slow, shuffling and dragging his feet, he looks pale and his hair is unbrushed. His eyes look far away and kinda dead, that's what scares Craig the most. But he supposes it's better than when they looked crazed.

"Hey" he says quietly as he shuffles into the room.

"Hey" Craig echoes awkwardly, he's always unsure what each visit will bring.

"Hi Tweek, how are you doing honey?" Laura asks him. A small smile flicks at the corner of his mouth, it's only for a split second, but Craig catches it.

"I'm okay" Tweek says, "you  _ -hnn-  _ look bigger" he says to Craig. It's blunt, but Craig doesn't take offense, he gets what Tweek means. 

"He's getting really big," Craig agrees as Tweek sits down next to him. Tweek doesn't say much, instead he snuggles in next to Craig and rests a hand on his belly. 

"Tweek" Craig says, breaking the silence "do you know what happened at your review meeting?"

"Oh yeah" Tweek says, his speech slow and almost at a drawl "they're gonna  _ -ah-  _ release me next week as long as I take my  _ -mmm-  _ meds and comply with the court order but I gotta go back to my parents."

Craig's emotions are mixed, he's so happy Tweek is being released but also, having to go back to his parents is a nightmare. 

"Did you tell them we're gonna have a baby?" Craig asks worriedly.

"Yeah they know. I don't think I have to stay as long as I'm  _ -nghh-  _ complying. Like I have these appointments I have to  _ -hnn- _ go to where they check if I'm taking my medication… but my parents have to be the ones to get me out cause I'm a minor" Tweek explains. 

"I'm glad you're getting well enough to get out of here" Craig says, deciding to focus on the positive. 

"When do you get out?" Laura asks Tweek.

Tweek perks up a little and squeezes Craig's hand.

"Saturday morning" Tweek replies with a grin "I want you guys to  _ -ah-  _ be there but since my  _ -nnn-  _ parents have to pick me up it'll probably be better if it's just them."

"That sounds fair enough" Laura says "we don't need a scene."

"Definitely not" Tweek agrees "I don't want you getting more  _ -nghh-  _ stressed Craig."

Craig is just being reminded of how he isn't an adult quite yet. He can birth and care for an entire human being but he's not allowed to take his boyfriend home from the hospital. 

"I'll just wait for you I guess" Craig replies glumly "I don't want a fight with your parents either."

"You are always welcome at our place Tweek" Laura says comfortingly. 

"You'll come back before the baby comes right?" Craig asks. He doesn't want to be doing this on his own just because Tweek's parents are crazy.

"Yeah, I want to be with you guys. I just have to  _ -ah-  _ do this to get out" Tweek replies, pulling Craig closer. 

"I know, I miss you," Craig says sadly. He just wants this all to be over. He wants his life back.

"I miss you too" Tweek replies "and I love you and honestly I'll  _ -gah-  _ probably be at your house on Saturday."

"Just don't leave me alone," Craig says quietly. 

"Never" is all Tweek says before a nurse comes in to let them know it's Tweek's time to see the psychiatrist. 

"I hate that Tweek's parents have all the power here" Craig tells his mother as they leave.

"It's unsettling but you need to remember, you're both just kids, even though you wanna be grown up" she tells him. Craig hates the reminder, it doesn't make him any less pregnant. The baby is coming and there's no amount of reminding him how young he is that will stop it. 

"I know it's just… they shouldn't have this power over him. They'll abuse it, that and Tweek is going to be a parent. Shouldn't he still get to make his own decisions" Craig vents. He knows nothing can be done, but that doesn't stop the frustration. 

"The law says he's a minor, so he needs to be with a parent or legal guardian. We're neither" she reminds him. He sighs. 

"It's shitty Craig" she agrees "but sometimes you have to play ball to get where you need to be. If he complies with what needs to happen legally then he can come and be a proper parent with you."

"I just really need him to come home," Craig says sadly.

—

The day Tweek is released isn't anything like Craig's daydreams. On his daydreams Craig is waiting for him on the other side of those bolted doors, Tweek comes out, the normal Tweek. Happy, cute, loyal, funny,  _ his Tweek.  _ There's no space, or death behind his eyes. Tweek's parents are nowhere to be seen. 

Tweek strides out confidently and pulls Craig into a close hug. They share a short, discreet kiss but enjoy a poignant moment. Tweek kisses his belly and they exit the place holding hands, knowing they'll never have to be there again.

It's idealistic and naive but that's where he lets his head go. He knows it won't happen in real life, so he might as well get to dream a little. 

The real day is nothing like his daydreams. The real day is quiet, Craig is at home, lying in bed. He's supposed to be resting, his mom wanted him to use the quiet time for himself. But Craig is still worrying. Thinking of Tweek and wondering if he's okay and if everything about the release went smooth. He hates that Tweek's release isn't the reunion he wanted. Instead he's got the baby for company, which Craig supposes isn't the worst thing. At the moment he's very uncomfortable, but that's normal for late pregnancy. The baby's movements are restricted too, Craig knows he's running out of room. 

Craig really just wants him out, but at the same time, he wants him to stay put, so that Tweek will be here when he's born. 

Craig isn't going to lie, he's been lonely all of this time. While being pregnant means he really is never alone but he misses his boyfriend. He wants Tweek to cuddle up with after a long day. He wants to have his boyfriend to lean on during this difficult part of his pregnancy. 

He's jolted out of his reverie with the buzzing of his phone. He's quick to grab it, hoping it will be Tweek. He's correct.

_ I'm home, I hate it and I miss you guys. I hope to see you as soon as I can.  _

While Craig is happy to be hearing from him he's discouraged to hear that he already hates being home with his parents. 

_ It's not really home though. Home is with you and the baby. Love you. _

Tweek sends this in almost straight after before Craig gets a chance to reply.

_ I love you. Look after yourself but we can't wait to see you. _

Craig texts back. He really hopes Tweek's parents won't ban him from seeing Craig.

_ I'm really tired from meds but will come see you tomorrow. Love you. _

Tweek replies. Tomorrow sounds promising, and Craig doesn't doubt that Tweek is exhausted. Everything he's read about antipsychotic medication has pointed to fatigue and drowsiness being potential major side effects. 

_ Go rest, love you too. _

Craig replies. He wants to be as instrumental to Tweek's recovery as he can be. 

—

Tweek reintegrates himself back into their lives pretty quickly. He hates living with his parents and after maybe a week or so he's back with them. Tweek does attend all his appointments and takes his meds even if he is struggling, he does seem to want to stay well. 

He's having trouble with fatigue and just generally feeling flat. Tweek complains that his thoughts go slower, it affects the way he speaks and navigates the world. Craig doesn't say so, but he notices it too. Tweek is still spacey, he struggles with showing emotions and expressing himself. 

"It's like a  _ -nghh-  _ blanket of fog" Tweek complains, both he and Craig are resting in bed together. Tweek struggles to stay awake throughout the day and Craig's mother has told him he needs to be resting up for the impending birth. 

"Like when you're drunk?" Craig asks. Unsure how he can relate. 

"No, it's more like a  _ -mmm-  _ hangover but not. Like, my head just… stops. It's just  _ -ah-  _ blank" Tweek tries to explain. Craig doesn't really get it but he wants to. 

"Like when you're really tired?" He tries again.

"Yeah that's closer. Tired and hit your  _ -hnn-  _ head hard… or something like that" Tweek trails off. Sometimes he does that, just doesn't finish his thoughts. Craig doesn't push. 

"Sounds really unpleasant," Craig replies. 

"I guess we're both going through some  _ -gah-  _ uncomfortable stuff" Tweek says, patting Craig's stomach. 

"I wish I could  _ -nnn-  _ be your rock," Tweek says sadly.

"Improving your mental health is better. It's exactly what I hoped for you" Craig encourages him. 

"Thanks, I guess I didn't know how bad I  _ -hah-  _ needed it" Tweek admits, he sounds sleepy and Craig thinks it's not gonna be long until he's asleep again. 

"It's gonna make you a better dad and a better boyfriend" Craig hums, threading fingers through Tweek's hair. 

"I hope so, '' Tweek mumbles. Craig doesn't try to carry on with the conversation. Instead he let's Tweek drift off. 

Craig can't help but wonder if this almost blank slate of a person is who Tweek will be from now on. He hopes not, he wants Tweek to have his personality just with mental stability. Craig knows Tweek is probably overmedicated at the moment and hopefully things will improve but it's hard. Tweek struggles to hold conversation like he used to and just kinda wants to sleep all the time. Craig is genuinely worried for when he goes into labor. Will Tweek sleep through the whole thing? Will he be present enough to help Craig through the pain? 

Craig thinks those fears are valid. He's scared as hell to have this baby. He knows there's no going back now, and this baby is coming but physically Craig can't picture himself actually doing it. He thinks he's probably gonna be getting an epidural but he really has no concrete plan. Maybe he's stupid, but it's freaking him out more the more he's researching. He's going in blind, but he knows his mom will be there for him. He's not sure about Tweek, but Craig will forgive him as long as Tweek is doing everything to get well.

—

Tweek now sleeps well at night. It's partially medically induced but it's leaps and bounds better than before. It's regulated and consistent, unlike Craig's sleeping pattern. It's down to being so heavily pregnant. He's uncomfortable, his belly is heavy, there's a ton of pressure in his pelvis, sometimes there's mock-contractions and of course, he's got a nearly full-term human moving around in there. They haven't got a ton of money so Craig doesn't have any extra pillows or anything for support. It's painful and Craig can't remember the last time he got a full uninterrupted eight hours. But that doesn't mean he will interrupt Tweek's, he's always wanted stability and peace for Tweek so Craig stays up alone. Often left alone with his thoughts.

He's anxious. Anxious about the pain of giving birth, anxious something will go wrong during the birth and anxious about the uncertainty of his future. 

It's not just his impending parenthood, while he is worried about what having a child will be like and how he will cope he's just really worried about where his life will go. He wants to know if Tweek will get better, will he get back to normal? Whatever normal would look like. He worries that Tweek won't cope with being a parent or that he will just retreat into his foggy world. He worries that they'll split up and he will be on his own again with a new baby. And that's just the near future, not even counting his worries about how they will survive long term and keep their kid happy and healthy. 

He wriggles uncomfortably, he hasn't got much room to get comfortable. It's near impossible tonight, his stomach is tight and the pressure is ever building. He could have the baby tonight, but he's never really sure. His mom has told him that he just has to wait and see. But the pressure is not something he can sleep through. 

Tweek stirs next to him, Craig tries to be quiet in the hope that he doesn't wake him up. This isn't to be though, Tweek yawns and stretches out before wrapping his arms around Craig's stomach. It doesn't do much for the already mounting pressure but Craig doesn't shun the closeness. 

"Are you okay?" Tweek asks, knowing sleep alludes Craig lately.

"My back hurts a lot" Craig complains "and my belly is super tight."

"Are you having  _ -nnn- _ contractions?" Tweek asks, concerned. 

"When am I not?" Craig groans, the false labour feels neverending. 

"Well are they  _ -ah-  _ stronger?" Tweek presses. 

"Maybe, I don't know… I'm just really tired" Craig replies, really just wishing for a rest.

"I'm sorry you can't sleep, I wish I could  _ -ah-  _ help," Tweek says sadly.

"I know Tweek, it's okay. He'll be here soon enough" Craig tries to look on the bright side. 

"You wonder if he's  _ -nghh-  _ done being in there too?" Tweek asks, poking the side of Craig's belly. Craig shoos him away. 

"Maybe, but he's not exactly hurrying out," Craig complains. 

"Well labor isn't like the  _ -hnn-  _ movies, it takes ages before the baby comes" Tweek encourages him. .

"I know, I kinda just want it over with. Not knowing if it's real or false is frustrating" Craig sighs, he knows he's on the home stretch but that doesn't make him any less exhausted. 

"Do you wanna  _ -ah- _ watch YouTube together or something? It might help you fall asleep?" Tweek suggests, snuggling in closer.

"Sure" Craig replies and they settle in. 

Tweek is asleep by the second video but Craig isn't. Craig isn't sure how long he tries to distract himself, but he gives up. The pain feels more regular, and stronger. Craig doesn't want to be alone with his thoughts any longer. 

"It's happening" he says as he wakes Tweek "I think the baby is coming." 

"Ah shit" Tweek says groggily "lemme go  _ -nghh- _ wake your mom."

The first thing his mom says when she gets to his room is "have you timed how far apart they are?"

"No" Tweek replies and Craig feels a little dumb for not thinking of that.

"Time them" she instructs Tweek "I'm going to get your baby bag."

"Ok, what do I do?" Tweek asks.

"When I say go start timing" Craig replies "ah, okay go."

Tweek dutifully does. Tweek doesn't say a word, just watches the timer. Clearly on edge. Craig doesn't bother with talking, he's a bad combination of in pain and uncomfortable. 

"Will you  _ -hah- _ tell me when it starts again or…?" Tweek asks, Craig nods and waves him away, trying to concentrate on his body. 

"Ok now" he says, taking a deep breath to try and help himself get through the pain.

"That's ten minutes," Tweek says, mostly to Laura who has returned with Craig's labor bag. Craig really isn't listening. 

"It's hospital time then" Laura tells them "let me call an uber."

—

It's very modern, getting an uber to the hospital but it definitely beats the bus. While Laura has a drivers license they don't have the money to own a car, so their options are limited. Craig wishes he was in a situation where he had a car at his disposal but an uber is much better than trying to get through a bus ride.

The actual ride isn't so bad. Craig isn't in enough pain to be outwardly distressed. He can hold it in and act normal. 

"Good luck and congratulations" the uber driver says to them as he drops them out the front of maternity. Craig finds it mildly amusing. He wonders how often an uber driver takes a teenage couple and a parent to the hospital to have a baby. It's probably not often, right? 

Craig is admitted, the staff seem nice and not too judgy. Craig is beginning to wonder if he'd even notice judgemental behavior at this point. He's far too focused on breathing through contractions and actually having this baby. 

"How  _ -ah-  _ bad does it hurt?" Tweek asks Craig between contractions.

"It's getting worse. At first it was like cramps, now it's more like I'm being crushed" he says, trying his best to use the off time to catch his breath. 

"Jesus man, well whatever I can do, I'll  _ -nghh-  _ do it" Tweek says kindly. 

"Do you know what you want to do with pain relief?" Laura asks him "because you have to time that right."

"Huh?" Craig answers. Nobody told him that part "how can you time it?" 

"Well if you have an epidural too early it wears off too soon, and if you leave it too late, well, you just have to grit your teeth and push" Laura explains. 

"I don't know… I probably want an epidural. When is too early?" Craig is internally panicking a little because he just doesn't know. What if somebody miscalculates? Doing the final throes without any pain relief sounds impossible. 

"I'm not sure, but I'd say now probably is" his mom explains. 

"Have all the drugs dude" Tweek says "you  _ -gah-  _ deserve it." 

"I'll ask the nurse when she -ow ow ow,  _ shit!"  _ Craig tries to say, interrupted by an intense contraction. Tweek leaps to his side and grabs his hand.

"Just breathe, I think that's  _ -ah-  _ what you're supposed to do, right?"

Craig appreciates that Tweek is just as uncertain as he is. 

The night goes on much like this. The hours tick on and the sun begins to rise. Craig really doesn't know what time it is though, his own sense of time is distorted. He just knows he's in pain and exhausted. 

"Do you want to walk?" His mom asks.

"I can't" Craig manages to reply before gasping in pain

"It might make you feel better to walk?" She tries to suggest.

Craig moans and shakes his head. She doesn't get just how much he can't. His legs feel weak and shaky, he knows he can't support his own weight. That and he feels really dizzy. He doesn't think he could even manage a few steps. 

"I can't…" is all he manages to say before pain overtakes him again. He bursts into tears, barely realising that he's doing so, his body just takes over. 

"Don't cry Craig" Tweek says, stroking Craig's back "I'm gonna ask them about your  _ -nnn-  _ epidural again."

The only reason Craig hasn't had one is because he's supposedly not progressed enough in his labor. Craig can't understand how so little has happened physically through all this hurt and stress. He's so tired he can't speak in sentences anymore. He just wants some kind of relief. 

"Shall we check you again?" A nurse says, Tweek must have gone and fetched her while Craig was in pain. He doesn't remember Tweek leaving or her walking in. 

"Craig" she says, he doesn't even realise she's between his legs "has the pain got worse?"

He mumbles an affirmative, while clutching at the handrail of the bed.

"I'm gonna take your temperature sweetie" she says in a way that he thinks is probably to be comforting but it doesn't come close.

The thermometer is in his mouth, they're asking him to stay still. He can feel tears running down his cheeks but he hadn't realised he was crying.

"I'm going to get the doctor," she tells the room. Craig thinks it probably his mom she's addressing "he's really distressed."

Tweek strokes Craig's hair as he cries. 

"You can do this" he tells Craig "I know you  _ -ah-  _ can."

—

Craig is given his epidural, but it's because his doctor has decided he needs an emergency c-section. It's not totally life or death, but unscheduled means emergency. Craig is too exhausted and distressed to push. The doctor thinks the safest route is to get the baby out now, through c-section. 

Craig does begin to feel better when the anaesthetic begins to take hold but he can see why they don't want him pushing. He's beyond exhausted. The doctor thinks that he wouldn't have recovered in time to push and deliver safely. It's a little bit of a blow for Craig but he has to admit that he's hit his limit physically. 

Only one person is allowed in the theater with Craig and that person has to be Tweek. Craig has to hand it to Tweek, Tweek has handled the situation brilliantly. Maybe it's the drugs, Craig isn't cognitively aware enough to be sure but Tweek has been nothing short of his rock. 

"Are you okay?" Tweek asks.

"I'm not in pain" Craig assures him.

"That's  _ -nnn-  _ not what I meant. Are you okay? Like, mentally?" He presses. 

"I think so, I'm kinda worried about being cut open" Craig replies honestly. He's never had surgery before, let alone surgery where he has to be awake. 

"I'll  _ -nghh-  _ be there through all that" Tweek promises him.

"I know you will, I just wanna meet him" Craig says. As much as he doesn't want to have surgery he does want his son out. He wants to hold his baby already.

"Yeah, he who has no name, because his  _ -gah-  _ parents weren't able to pick one out" Tweek jokes. 

"Weirdly I don't feel worried about that anymore" Craig admits "I know we will come up with something when we see him."

"I think we will too," Tweek replies. 

After that they're separated briefly while Craig is prepped for surgery and Tweek scrubs up and gets sterile. Even though he's no longer in pain the short separation does make him anxious. He needs Tweek to get him through this operation. 

"This is the  _ -hah-  _ first day of the rest of our lives" Tweek says when they're reunited. Craig thinks he might be trying to distract Craig from the doctor making his first incision. 

"No really" Tweek continues, "I have meds and a mental health care plan, you got through your  _ -hnn-  _ pregnancy, we're back living together all just in time for his arrival. Today we start anew."

"Just don't propose here please" Craig says with a laugh.

"You know me  _ -ah-  _ better than that," Tweek replies. This is true, they both decided not to get married unless there was an insurance reason. At the moment they're young and weddings cost a lot. It's better to focus on the baby, they both agreed that they'll revisit the topic when they're older. 

"Just some pressure here Craig" the doctor tells him.

"Have you started?" He asks.

"Yes, a minute or so ago" he replies. 

"I know it isn't supposed to hurt but I'm still so surprised that it doesn't. I feel you kinda moving around but it's not pain" Craig says, genuinely amazed that this is actually happening to him.

"That's so weird dude" Tweek adds. 

"I'm glad, you should really only feel pressure, pulling and maybe my hands moving a little" the doctor tells Craig, Craig is a little relieved knowing those feelings are normal. 

"That's all I feel," he replies. 

"Great, are you ready to become parents?" the doctor asks, tone brightening. 

"No" Tweek replies "but I wanna  _ -gah-  _ meet him anyway."

"Is anyone ever ready?" A nurse muses. 

"I am" Craig replies "I'm ready to meet my son."

Craig knows everything will be okay when a sharp cry fills the room. Before he's even seen his son's face he hears his voice. He knows his baby has come into the world fighting. 

He is placed in Craig's arms almost immediately, but is taken away again soon after. Tweek is bawling, Craig's eyes aren't dry either. He's just so  _ perfect.  _ That squished up little bundle looking up at him and crying. Craig knows they'll never be apart, no matter the circumstances. 

"Sorry hun" the nurse says as she takes him away "you can hold him all you want once you're stitched up, okay."

Tweek snuggles up with their son the entire time Craig is in recovery. Nobody tells you about that part, it's awful. Craig is doped up on painkillers feeling kinda nauseous from the anaesthetic. He's alone, bar a few nurses who pop in and he's fighting sleep like nothing else. 

He wants to be awake to go see his son. If he falls asleep now who knows when his exhausted, drugged up self will come to. 

He nearly cries with relief when he finally gets back to his room and is allowed back with his family. His mom looks so relieved to see him, but now that he's a parent he can understand that. He doesn't think he's ever gonna stop worrying about his baby either. 

"Well done babe" Tweek says to Craig "I'm so  _ -ah-  _ proud you don't even know."

"I did it!" Craig says groggily. 

"You did" Laura echoes "you did so good baby boy, now you need to rest."

"Let me hold him" he mumbles.

"Sure," Tweek says, passing the small blue bundle in his arms to Craig with care. The smile on Tweeks face says it all.

The face of a small baby boy, freshly out in the big wide world, stares up at Craig. He doesn't cry or fuss. They just look at one another. 

"So you were the bowling ball in my belly this whole time" Craig hums, smiling at his son "you're the cutest bowling ball I've ever seen."

—

Craig can't believe how difficult recovery actually is. He's young, and maybe a little naive but he assumed he'd just kind of spring back. That's how tv makes it look. Instead he's pretty reliant on Tweek and his mom to help him look after the new arrival.

While in hospital they've been brainstorming ideas for his son. It sucks that they weren't able to decide on a name in advance but that doesn't change how much they love their new baby. They've been calling him pet names like little one, baby boy, darling etc. It's cute, but he needs a real name. Axel Wyatt is the name they settle on, Tweek wanted Axel because "we can call him Axe! Like a rock star!" Craig prefers the name in its full form, but he likes the way the name is unique without being too crazy. The surname is another issue they didn't discuss but Tweek immediately chimes in and says that he wants the surname to be Craig's. 

"I hate my parents dude" he says "the name  _ -nghh-  _ ends with me."

Craig can't really argue with that logic, so Axel becomes a Tucker. Craig is secretly happy his son doesn't have the surname Tweak, even if he loves his boyfriend endlessly. 

Sometimes Tweek struggles, most of his issues are cognitive. He struggles to put things together and sometimes needs to be reminded by Craig exactly how to do things. Their main issue is his fatigue, his meds make him wanna sleep and Tweek finds that makes being an active parent much harder. Tweek desperately wants his dose to be tapered down a little but Craig convinces him it's too early in his recovery. 

"I love him" Tweek tells Craig "but all my feelings are  _ -hnn-  _ dulled by these meds. It's like they're behind a  _ -gah-  _ wall, I know they're there but I just can't quite reach them… I want to feel more. I know I could  _ -nnn-  _ love him more if they just lowered my dose."

"I know babe" Craig tries to reassure him "just think of this as something to look forward to as you progress in your recovery."

"It's just frustrating, I want to  _ -ah- _ give him everything," Tweek complains. Craig hums sympathetically.

"I know, but you don't want to relapse, right?" He reminds Tweek. This is why they're here after all, nobody wants to see Tweek back in the hospital. 

"No I don't. I gotta stay on track, for both you and  _ -mmm-  _ him" Tweek affirms, nodding. 

"I definitely need you, nobody told me it would hurt this much just to get up and pee… I can't even walk around holding him" Craig reminds him, he wants Tweek to know he is needed, valued and appreciated. 

"I know, that's why I'll  _ -hah-  _ keep taking them. So I can help you and you can heal. I'm just  _ -nghh-  _ frustrated, thank you for listening though… I  _ -ah-  _ love you" Tweek says, leaning over to kiss Craig. Craig holds on to him and melts into the kiss. This is the Tweek he fell in love with. This is his Tweek. 

"I love you too, and if you need to rest I won't begrudge you, okay?" He tells Tweek when they break apart. 

"Thanks, I'll do my best to stay present and  _ -nghh-  _ help you. He's worth being tired" Tweek says, stifling a yawn.

"I agree," Craig adds. They'll be released soon and Craig can't wait to get back into family life at home and show Axel their world.

—

A cry pierces the dark and silence. Craig rolls over and groans, Tweek is still sound asleep. He usually sleeps through Axel crying, it's not his fault, his meds knock him out cold. So Craig has to either wake him, or take every turn. Craig's still in quite a bit of pain, seeing as he just had major abdominal surgery, so he wakes Tweek. Tweek will do a better job at getting a bottle from the kitchen. He shakes Tweek and it takes a few goes. It always worries Craig a little that it's so hard to wake Tweek, but he's getting used to it.

"Nghhhh" Tweek groans as he wakes, he seems to realise straight away though. He gets up quickly and scoops Axel up. 

"Awww buddy, you hungry?" He asks drowsily. Craig smiles watching his boyfriend interact with his son. 

"Thanks Tweek" Craig whispers.

"S'ok" Tweek mumbles "hold him while I get his  _ -hnn-  _ milk?"

"Sure" Craig replies, wincing as he adjusts his position before taking his son into his arms.

Axel still cries in Craig's arms, but Craig can handle it knowing Tweek is working on getting the milk. 

"Shhh little one" Craig says, kissing his boy's little forehead "I know you're hungry." 

Craig is pleasantly surprised by their ability to work as a team. Tweek still needs support, he is recovering, not recovered. He has fortnightly meetings with his psychiatrist and mental health worker to check that he is complying with his medication but he always makes sure to attend those. Craig is doing better in his recovery and he tries to take more of the weight during the day when he is closer to the kitchen. It's better for him to try and move around even though he's pretty sure Tweek would do everything for him if he asked. 

Tweek shuffles back into the room quietly. He's quick to climb back on the bed and hand Craig the bottle. Axel takes it immediately and begins to eat. He's definitely a good eater, which Craig is relieved by. 

"He's  _ -ah-  _ easily appeased," Tweek says with a laugh.

"Eat, sleep, shit, repeat" Craig replies with a laugh.

"He's got a good thing  _ -nnn-  _ going" Tweek grins into the darkness.

"He's been worth every struggle" Craig hums happily. 

"Definitely. Maybe it's  _ -ah-  _ stupid but I couldn't see how unwell I was before. Now he's  _ -nnn-  _ here and I see what it takes to look after him… I never could have managed before" Tweek admits quietly. 

They're both silent for a moment as they watch Axel suck down his bottle. It blows Craig's mind every day that he and Tweek made a human, that Axel is part him and part Tweek. He's so happy that their genes are so cute together. 

"I'm proud of you" Craig tells Tweek "you're the best dad he could hope for."

"I'm proud of you too, being  _ -hnn- _ pregnant, living with me, going through a lot alone… then that  _ -nghh- _ awful labor… and your poor stomach recovering from the  _ -ah-  _ c-section? I could never do that I'd crumble" Tweek encourages Craig.

"It was pretty hard but I knew that I love him, and I love you and if I hung in there things would get better" Craig says. He admits he wasn't sure, but he had to have some kind of faith deep down.

"I think he's changed us for the better" Tweek muses "hopefully we  _ -nghh-  _ make it stick."

Craig knows they will. 

—

Craig realises things are going to be okay when Axel is about to hit six months. Things aren't easy for them and Tweek isn't always perfect. Tweek has bad days and times when he's difficult but it doesn't feel like Craig has two children. 

But he realises things will be alright when Tweek comes to him. He tells Craig he thinks he's having a relapse. That he feels depressed and wants to get help before he goes manic. 

While that isn't good news it is a good sign. Tweek is self aware, finally he has insight. He doesn't feel good now but he is gaining the tools to get through it and manage his condition. It's everything Craig wanted during his pregnancy. He wanted Tweek to want to get well, stay well and be well. 

It's something only Tweek could do for himself, Craig is just so proud that having Axel has motivated him to take these steps. 

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is blesspastacraig if you wanna be friends :)


End file.
